Last week we talked about Retaining Control through your domestic relations proceeding. Today we are going to talk about one great way to do that…mediation.
Some couples struggle for years hoping to “fix” their marriage. Some couples have difficulty articulating one specific problem plaguing their marriage. No matter how you arrived at this station, either you or your spouse has finally filed for divorce. The emotional roller coaster is hopefully nearing its end. The divorce will be final after the Permanent Orders hearing. Most courtrooms in the front range of Denver now require parties to mediate prior to providing them with a Permanent Orders hearing date. What does that mean??
It means that the court is affording you one last opportunity to retain control over the outcome of your case before the judge starts dictating how things will unfold. And remember, we are talking about giving you one last chance to decide how YOUR children will be raised and how YOUR money will be divided and what will happen to YOUR home.
A mediator is a neutral, objective third party assisting you and your soon-to-be-ex to resolve the contested issues in your case. A mediator can not order you to do anything. Instead, they help you both compromise to reach a common goal. Mediators help you to uncover those common goals and assist you in making decisions that benefit everyone involved.
Mediation is often a painful process but no more painful than testifying on a witness stand about your spouse and parading friends, family and co-workers through the courtroom as witnesses testifying on your behalf. Mediation is a forum that encourages the opportunity to set your hurt feelings aside and to jointly make decisions that are best for your family. Mediation allows you to retain control so you can work together to make good, logical decisions.
So, I suggest you make a conscious decision to participate in mediation in good faith with the genuine hopes of resolving the contested issues in your case. I would personally rather have some control over the outcome then roll the dice and see what a judge might order me to do!
For more details on mediation, check out Translation Tuesday: The world of mediation.